What a Sham

This may come off a bit like a Sex and the City monologue, so for all you familiar readers just imagine my voice over Sarah Jessica Parkers:

Love is so wonderful, but like everything in life it changes with the seasons. In such a fast paced world how do you hold onto those raw emotional feelings in the beginning? -That period when it's all "sighs" and "i miss you"s. Sure it grows to something more substantial and deep with time and eventually leads to falling madly in love, hopefully. But along the lines somewhere something changes, with every misunderstanding, disagreement, and fight you can't help but change. Every girl imagines her future with her new beau, from where they live, how successful they are, how cute their kids would be, how they will travel the world together, etc. The moment you realize that fantasy will never become a reality your heart will never be able to fully love that person. I'm not talking about a marriage commitment, I'm talking about a possibility of anything. It's kindof like the scene in Dumb and Dumber when Lloyd ask Mary what his chances are: Mary, "Not good." Lloyd," You mean not good like one out of a hundred?" Mary, " I'd say more like one out of a million." Lloyd, "So you're telling me there's a chance!" I realize that isn't exactly the keenest example to make my point, but it's always stuck with me and it's the best way I can explain it. There comes a point when you must decide what you want in a relationship. What happens when you realize you want completely different things? Is it stupid to stay, or should you ride it out and just enjoy being young and passionate?
I've gone through alot dealing with "love" and "relationships" over the past year, likewise I've logged hundreds of hours of just trying to put everything into perspective. What I've derived is that you'll never get hurt if you expect failure, but I don't like that conclusion. Because if you protect your heart from pain, you'll also be blocking it from such a wonderful joy. I guess it's true what they say, "It's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all." I guess I'm in for a whole lot of fantastic moments and equally heart wrenching pain. Despite it all, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Oh The Audacity!

So I've been on a roll lately, constantly on the look out for an opportunity to just hit me in the face. I've been unusually curious about the phrase, "what if". Not to mention the never ending tick I have about just running off and really experiencing life- the kind of "life" you see fictional characters living and you just pine for the chance to have that, just once. I've been fortunate enough to have had some pretty cinema worthy moments myself and I must admit the feeling is quite addictive. I guess I am just a restless soul because I can't seem to get my fix. I've had a mind altering change of self and over the past 2 weeks it's evolved quite exquisitely. I hope I can keep it up, it'd be a shame to waste this enthusiasm. Life is just too short to not take advantage of opportune chances that arise. I can't say it's always easy to say yes to change, but it sure beats never knowing what could have been. Don't over simplify this, it's more complicated than it seems, particularly when it involves factoring in people around you that aren't as apt to this new lifestyle. It can become a dilemma very quickly. Ultimately do what makes you happy, you can't be a people pleaser or you'll die miserable and unsuccessful.

Dare to live. It's the hardest and easiest decision you'll ever make.