Prove Them Wrong

Everyone loves a come back story.

Your closest allies cheering you on, colleagues and acquaintances nodding in approving eye squints, and your foes are silenced. They can't even look you in the eye. You've won.

Maybe they'll write a blurb about your success on an insider's tip sheet. Congratulations and welcome friend to the inside. Oh man, this is it. This is it! This is it?

Maybe you'll crash and burn. Maybe that article is 3...5...11 years premature.

What Now?

I read an article recently on why Millennials were unhappy. Normally, I hate all articles that try to explain away the pain or generalize millions of people in one fell swoop. But, it kind of did... with this one little formula:

Happiness = Reality - Expectations

I don't have to explain this any further. You know where the flaw is in your math.

Well guess what internet? Sorry, I'm not sorry. There's a big difference in thinking life will be handed to you on a silver platter and that having a strong work ethic will work out in your favor over the longterm.

There's really two different types of disappointment: The delusional kind and the jaded kind.

Delusional: I'm just gonna sit back and wait for everyone to find out how awesome I am. Make tons of money and clock out at 5pm.
Jaded: Watching the office slacker get promoted over you because he metaphorically-metaphysically-maybe actual does do the nasty with the boss. FML.

#TeamJaded all day long. It comes in waves, so solidarity friends. I got choo boo.

I like jaded reality, actually. It's cathartic to know the truth about how the world works–even when you have to find it out in painstakingly drawn out experiences. One at a time. Politics man.

The skeptic in me wants you all to know that you should still stay cautiously skeptical, but to never lower your expectations. Ever.

Life has a way of rewarding the hard workers, the go-getters, the jaded that never let the situation define them, the overcomers, the people that never take no for an answer, the ones that fail and try again, and the ones who keep their eye on the prize.

So go on. The road will be long. Don't let short term distractions derail you. That's how you win. That's how you prove them wrong. That's how you exceed your own crazy expectations.


via GIPHY

The New Establishment

I started out this post with an idea that I should really write a series on being young and employed in politics. I stopped shortly after because I knew I only wanted to tell a negative story about my experiences dealing with terrible clients or coworkers. See even right there I wanted to say shitty coworkers. I couldn't not say that, because I'm so totally blown away by how preposterous business is done in DC sometimes.

It comes down to backbone and integrity. Do you have it?

When I meet someone in DC that is genuine I hold onto them with both hands. They simply cannot escape me. I will make you my friend and we will never leave each other's side. I half joke, but it is really hard to find people that are genuine insofar as I have my own criteria: Will this person tell me how they really feel? Does this person have a morale compass? Does this person seek out justice? Does this person strive for greatness? Is this person unapologetic about everything mentioned above? If the answer is yes, then congratulations: you are my new best friend!

I don't mean to say that DC is full of bad people. Not at all. It's just there are very few people I've had the pleasure of meeting or working with that are both blunt and charming and actually do their own work.

I've come to realize that you can't put a price tag on work ethic. One of my favorite things about working in politics in DC is that I'm surrounded by people who have a stake in the game and a desire to see their cause advanced. The thrill isn't monetary it's historic. We all have a chance to redirect the course of history. We have the privilege to shape generations to come.

I've just seen too many good people move up only to move right back down (in my mind only). Call it drunk with power or overwhelmed with excessive budgets. It's like the culling of operatives happens at the mid to senior managerial level–that's where good workers lose their freakin' minds and take their eyes off the prize. I know it's normal to try to position yourself for success and promotion, but it's a haunting experience to watch as decisions are made that hurt the overall objectives of an organization or movement and benefit the individual(s) making the decision.

Is this why people leave politics? I've wondered more than I'd like to tally.

I feel like such a jerk for all those times when I was 20 and so skeptical of the "losers" who couldn't stand the heat of politics. I believe at one time I referred to someone who left DC by quoting Queen lyrics, "Another one bites the dust." GOOD GOD if I could go back I would punch myself in the face. You're welcome America.

Ignoring my past shortcomings and focusing on my learned life lessons, let's move forward.

Take it from me, being blunt has only ever helped me getting new jobs. Politicos love jackasses. It just so happens when I'm looking for another job I have plenty of fire power fueling my flames. Why? Because employers love hiring passionate people. In theory they want to push their brand, mission, theories and experimentation... yea, so in actuality you would be shocked to find that doesn't necessary equate to success in the workplace. Internal politics and the soft cooing of agreement breeds promotion in this town.

Let me make it abundantly clear the problem is not the people, it is the process. Haters gonna hate. And I am a total hater but I play the long game.

Frustration with the system has stuck with me for years now. I've never worked for the government, so when I say 'system' I'm talking DC's auxiliary establishment. I have been plagued with thoughts of how I could change it to build a new way of doing business, a new way of rewarding truly innovative operatives, and christening the new establishment.

Feel me? Want to collaborate? Let's talk!

Not Boy Crazy (Anymore), Just Career Obsessed

Somewhere in early 2012 I stopped being boy crazy. How do I know this? Because I stopped blogging about them. In fact, it was the Spring right before I decided to go steady with my now boyfriend. I called that one Relationship Filibuster. Total cheese ball.

I really do wear my heart on my sleeve. And it isn't exclusive to relationships, I do the same at work. ...I was trying to come up with some sort of metaphor that related promotions to dating, but that would equate to like marriage, and no one stays with a company their whole life anymore. Ironically still (and call me a romantic), I'm a big fan of the married for life philosophy.

As a child of divorce of course I'm careful about taking vows and that's not a bad thing. Patience is a virtual and right now I'm just practicing–ha!  Recently a coworker sent me a link with stats on Millennials (roughly 18-34 year olds) and only 4% of that group are married with children and own their own home. That was suppose to be a shocking stat, but is it really?

Weddings are ridiculously expensive and I don't trust people that own homes in their twenties. What witchcraft are you into?

We are a generation that believes in planning and saving. We discuss stuff like paying off debts, children's college funds and our parent's debt we could potentially assume–before moving in with each other–you know, to our overpriced one bedroom apartment that isn't even in DC proper, le sighhhh. It's the only place that allows dogs over 50lbs. 

In case you haven't picked up on this, I speak in broad generalizations that aren't generalizations at all. It's me. Very specifically me.

It's a constant struggle between third and first person. This is why I don't do Comms. 

So marriage is romantic, but work commitments are a jail sentence? Let me break it down. Weddings are romantic, marriage is hard work. Starting a new job is exciting, staying at your job is hard work. The whole concept of 'settling down' is the sticking point for me and I would venture to assume the same goes for my Millennial counterparts.

I just haven't found The One job that's right for me, but there's the dream of something else*. I feel like every one of my job breakups have amounted to something like this: *https://youtu.be/DKJgj5O0V7w

Cue my You've Got Mail obsession.

This is the part where I point out that I'm not married. My family reminds me every time I go home. When are you going to get married and give me a grand baby? I'm always more excited to talk about my latest project at work or on the side. They could not care less. Yea yea that's nice, so how's Kevin?

They aren't judge-y or anything, just extremely anxious. My 21 year old sister got married this past December, but somehow the lineage questions still falls on my plate? Amy, I love you, if you read this no offense at all just please have a baby. See my sister, is not one of those young brides. She gets it. Her and her hubby are perfect for each other. High school sweethearts. Soul mates if you will. She trusts love and commitment. I on the other hand do not, I only trust myself.


I trust myself not to fuck anything up. Not to cheat. Not to get the client pitch wrong. Not to get screwed over in a business deal. Not to roll over. Not to run out of money. Not to give up on myself. Not to get pregnant.

You see, I have trust issues.

Or, maybe it's control issues, either way I see the worst in people at a higher frequency than the good. I'm a skeptic of life. You want to do something nice for me? What's in it for you? I must read the fine print before committing. Oh I can have a raise 6 months from now? ...Homes, this ain't my first rodeo. 

The good news is by wandering around making a ton of mistakes I've happened upon my constant and the one person that balances me out, Kev. We've been together for 3 1/2 years now for a reason, he embodies everything that I clearly lack: Trust, unconditional love, great taste in music, selflessness and can't-breathe-so-funny-humor. BONUS: completely different than all my other beaus.

I don't have a "type." It's cheap to try to categorize the men I've seen. They generally make me feel good about myself until they don't. I was always moving the goal post. And, as you all know, when the metrics are changed without being clearly communicated process breakdown occurs, people get frustrated and dissatisfied, people want to move on to other opportunities. They quit.

The business of heartache is so stupid. If I could go back and still retain the collective knowledge I've amassed over the years I would have never dated anyone and focused all my time on getting into a better undergraduate program, preferably Ivy League and taken on more jobs.

But what is a life without love? Fucking miserable that's what. I am lucky to have had those experiences over the years. However much I hate them now they made me a better coworker, neighborhood, girlfriend and boss.

I traded in my Cosmo magazines for the Harvard Business Review because I don't care about mastering the 30 technics to pleasuring my man as prescribed by some liberal arts major. I'm confident in me, boo. I've got a liberal arts degree too. SEC baby!

But what makes me stop and appreciate my growth, is that now all my heartache is associated in professional settings. I don't cry about boys anymore and that fact alone is monumental to me. I do cry–Oh my god do I cry–home alone and self shaming-mad-at-myself sobbing that I can't change work place situations or more generally the World. But I don't give up, I double down. It's so easy to break up with someone, it's so easy to quit your job. It is not easy to make a relationship work, a marriage work, a partnership work, a contract work.

I still listen to the same love songs when I write my blog posts. It's just I'm more in love with fulfilling a destiny than finding The One. I find the same inspiration from Maroon 5 now that I did when I was in high school and in love with a boy that never returned the sentiment.

Priorities change ladies. Rejection is good--it prepares you for job interviews, salary negotiations and stakeholder review meetings. I don't know about you, but being rejected made me the strong person I am today. Nothing could possibly shake me as much as the first time a boy broke up with me. I was 16. Not until the time I found out my boyfriend cheated on me when I was 21. Overshadowed still when I realized I was working for a scumbag when I was 23.

So what's waiting for me in the future? I don't know, but come at me bros.

$$

Quarter Life Crisis Part Duex ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

All of my friends are neutral on their jobs. If I could give 2015 a description I would say it's bland. Everyone I know, with the exception of my journalist friends, are just going along to get along at work.

By the way, I still think the journalists are feeling this too, but they would never admit it because I think they think its beneath the profession to say it out loud.

It seems everyone wants another job, but does not want to spend an ounce of effort to go about the process. I think Millennials have cracked. We just want to earn a pay check, build some wealth, and master an extracurricular activity. I personally am dedicated to getting back in shape. I take a Yoga, Pilates, or Barre class at least once a day. I am the single-urban equivalent of a stay at home mom. Yuck. Also, that was a humble brag.  I WORK OUT!

So what's the deal with all this whatever-ness? I will venture to guess that the cause of this indifference is due to the stalemate that has been Washington, DC since 2008. How much change can actually happen if your side doesn't control the White House? (Another point to my journalist friends)

Too often are Bush era staffers (*ahem* my boyfriend and crew) quick to forget that there is an entire "generation" of young politicos that have never experienced what it's like to own this town. We don't have public sector experience. We don't know what executive branch management looks like. We can't even name the suite of cabinet members. There is a minor league version of what use to be.

But don't think for one second we lack in talent what we so visibly show in campaign loses and bruised egos. We have been here 7 years scraping for little campaign or policy wins - our clients are super happy with us because our ad conversion rates are above average consistently. And we've got some Pollie Awards to prove we mean business. We bought our participation trophies, you can keep your White House credentials. Please tell me more about how I never saw George or Smithpoint in their glory.

There are only so many committees, advocacy groups, and firms one person can work for in this city before there is little to envy in terms of titles and connections. Why work on the Hill when you can bag an association paycheck? My resume reads like a Rachel Maddow hit list. Should I go work for a Republican Governor? Am I part of the 'Establishment' if my credit isn't? ... These are the thoughts that go through my head before I even get out of the shower in the morning.

My caveat: I love what I do.

If you're thinking, "WTF Sarah and your point is?" Shhhhh, I'm getting there.

At the end of one of my yoga classes last week my Yogi challenged us with this:

You are not what you do. You are not what you don't do. You are how you do it.

It's crazy for me to constantly be asking myself, "Am I making the big difference I sought out to when I moved to DC?"  Because, how can I objectively determine if I'm succeeding or failing if I'm looking at the short term?

I made the determination when I was in high school that I could have the greatest impact on the world around me if I devoted my life to politics and government. I could impact things on a macro-level. After-all elections change the leadership, the leadership changes the legislative and operational agenda, and those policies and decisions change peoples lives.

So what happens when you aren't excited about any of the candidates in the election? And when you lose faith in the leadership's ability to make the right call? And when the policies harm the way of life of those it affects? Or when the leadership misses the mark on what really matters to the people they represent, because lobbyists and special interest groups stand in the way of real progress? When everyone is so focused on the macro, that they miss the more important micro stories. The real people. The struggle.

When you're surrounded by prosperity and in a dog fight to climb up work and social ladders, it's easy to forget that a $50k salary anywhere else in the country would be a godsend--not an insult. That minimum wage for a full time employee is $15,080/year. And that the poverty level for a single person is $11,945; $22,283 for a family of four. Oh, and that our real purchasing power is about where it was in the early 1980s. We can do better. We have to do better.

If this pisses you off work harder. I don't care who you work for or what your role is, just be mad and channel that energy to change something for the good. You answer those front desk phone calls like a g--d--m boss and transfer them like your life depends on it. Place those ad buys like the sweet swish of game winning shot. Ghost write the hell out of that op-ed like you're the SOTU speech writer. And make those cold calls like you're auditioning for The Voice.

Just work hard and be patient. Things will fall into place soon. Your rut may just be your launching pad. Until that day, solidarity in perseverance. You don't owe it to anyone to show off. Do it for yourself. That's when you win. That is when you move up.

Quarter Life Crisis Part 1

I am obsessed with winning. Unfortunately, my political record doesn't reflect this. Like my fantasy leagues this year, I am mediocre at best. 1-2.

2008 (primary) L
2010 (primary) W
2012 (general) L
2014 (general) ?

The good news (if you want to look at it that way)... is that I'm not on the record this year. This midterm I'm like a cheerleader - Ra ra sis boom ba gooooooooooo individual liberties and the free market! This year I focus on turning out strong support among my peers on issue based voting.

This year I can't lose. I also can't win and it's driving me crazy.

The funny thing about growing older and wiser is that I prefer to place the emphasis on being wiser.

A college junior in New Hampshire recently told me he thought I looked 30. I'm 25 for the record, and had that punk not been volunteering at my call bank I would have publicly shamed him on Yik Yak. Because I'm an adult, I just told him I thought he looked 17.

I still get the fabulous luxury of field work this cycle, as you can tell from above mentioned supporter.

Carpetbagger, establishment hag, and ginger bitch - come to mind as favorite nicknames adorned from the campaign trail. And that was friendly fire. Can you imagine why no normal women want to run for office?

Campaigns are the worst thing and the best thing. People that chose to work on campaigns are self-inflicting, self-important, self-deprecating, selfish-- lucky bastards and I'm so jealous so they can all just shut up already.

It's war. And your coworkers go to battle with you every day. I'd say it's a noble job, but it's not. It's keeping volunteers on script and keeping the crazy county party from annexing themselves from the state party because they feel they haven't received the appropriate amount of campaign bumper stickers.

"Bush '04 gave us bumper stickers AND yard signs!"

Entitled comes to mind... This is why we can't have nice things.

I suddenly remember why it's so nice having a steady desk job. Quarter life crisis, you'll just have to wait while I'm paving the way to electoral victory in 2016. Sometimes breaks are good.

I'll take the next few weeks on the road to suck in all that campaign field work has to offer - without any of the worrying over hypotheticals where I end up with another "L" on my record and jobless. And, of course, have a few laughs at the newbies expense.

Oh my god, we have to shift resources? The sky is falling.

A Country Christmas

I took Kevin down to South Carolina for Christmas break. I consider it break since my fabulous employer gave us paid leave between Christmas Eve and NYD. It's like school all over again and I'm just as giddy!

Tut of course did not make the trip. The dog absolutely freaks for any time he is in a moving car. Even after 2 hours, he'll still be whining. He stayed with Aunt Cassandra in the old Eastern Market house. Just as well, I think he likes being near the Marine Barracks, notably the marines. (When they marched down the street he thinks they are calling out to him - "Hut!")

Kev and I made the 8 hour drive down to Greenville, SC in record time. We listened to books on tape to make the drive go by faster, also because we are practicing for retirement. Spy novels! Seriously though, if we had to listen to Christmas songs or Top 40 radio I may not have made it south of Durham, NC.

In one of the lulls between the audio book we were listening to I tried to explain the intricacies of southern slang and insults.  Country, I explained, is what you call someone who is truly twangy and/or tacky. It's the new Redneck - since redneck became so mainstream. Everyone back home ironically self identifies as a redneck. I attribute this to Jeff Foxworthy. I grew up being told by my parents that we were Hillbillies turned Rednecks (SC by way of WV). No, Dad, please stop.

You see my boyfriend hails from The Los Angeles, CA and finds the sub-culture I grew up in quite fascinating. Prior to meeting me he had only ever visited the southern cities of Charleston (for a wedding) and New Orleans (for work and several bachelor parties) hardly anything to shake a stick at. I take any chance I get to acquaint him with the truly country - only funny because my family is slowly becoming more southern as the years go by. I don't have an accent and neither did any of my family members up until I left for college. Somewhere in the past 5 years everyone else became country music fans and started speaking with a drawl. That is until I've been there a few days, and I start speaking a little more slowly - or so Kevin tells me. Y'all, I can't even.

There's something about going home that really makes me miss all the open spaces and the slower pace. It's the change of priorities that stand out the most. Good and bad. At the end of the day though, I know deep down that moving back would never work out. But, it's good to get back to recalibrate. What else are family and friends here for than to remind you where you came from?

White Elephant with my Dad's side of the family.

Through all the dinners and family gatherings it was wonderful seeing the man-friend get to know my family and friends better. We got to stay with my bff from high school, Evangeline (Shug) and her boyfriend, which is basically the best present ever. The guys like to say that when we get together we become the same person - which is basically us talking with creepy accents that the guys still find adorable. Oh and they got us Christmas socks! Awesome.

Bear socks for bare feet. Sorry I'm not sorry.

Christmas this year was a great success! And, to top it all off, I (we) bought new dinning room chairs and a coffee maker for the apartment! Look at me cohabiting and playing house! Oh if 22 year old Sarah could see me now!

* Updated: I can't believe I forgot to mention that Kevin had to attend the only Catholic mass available to him on Christmas day - in Polish. Who'd guess that there was such a high demand for that? Wesołych Świąt! *

Hey 2013, Don't Let the Door Hit You on the Way Out!

Christmas time and New Years really does bring out the best and worst in me.  I am very optimistic for the future, excited to spend time with my family and friends, proud of the achievements I made over the past year, and hypercritical of all of my mistakes. 

I have barely blogged this year.  My #1 regret.  I can only describe this year as full of highs and lows (and I have a blog archive full of unpublished posts to prove it.)  I didn't share anything because was scared of coming off too proud/angry.  I held a lot in and lost perspective on what was going on around me.  I was a pressure cooker.  For example, I wrote:

I think it's really easy to drop the line "Man this city really makes you cynical" or "Damn, this work really does drive you to drinking."  It's easy because it's the obvious thing to say -- it's right there in front of you every day.  How grown up am I?  I have other grown up cynical friends that are also boring, have drinking problems and prescriptions to performance enhancing drugs.  What am I doing with my life?  Working at a dead-end job and feeling handcuffed to it until then next election cycle for fear of looking too "Millennial" on my resume. 

If there is one thing I hate more than generalizations it is stereotypes. And, unfortunately, I couldn't escape either this year.  I decided that I needed an intervention after self diagnosing myself as a stick-in-the-mud.  Somewhere in the last year I forgot to breathe and just look around -- not critically, but as an observer (I'm really good at the former, I've discovered).

I have spent the good part of the last year complaining and finding faults in everyone around me.  It certainly didn't help that it all started with a crushing defeat in the '12 cycle.  I think I went into 2013 thinking, "Everything is going to shit, but hey at least I'm one of the lucky ones that got a job."  Screaming endorsement for a successful year.  As we all know, the rush to bag a job post-Election Day usually never pans out for the long term.  But, by holding it in I never got the chance to hear how everyone else felt about their job.  Clarification: I never took the time to listen.  Turns out, I wasn't the only one - not by a long shot.

The day after my 24th birthday everything changed and I realized that I was living with a bag over my head.  That was when I started changing things up.  I ruffled a lot of feathers because I fell out of line.  I had my very first DC power scuffle!  I was so upset that I had to cut ties with someone I had once held in high regard.  What would people think of me?  What would people say about me?  Turns out no one was talking at all - funny how that happens.

Now I find myself 11 days out from the start of 2014 and I couldn't be more excited for the year ahead.  Through the ups and downs, I'm walking away from 2013 with several new battle scars and a lot to be thankful for.  I have a new job on a great tech team full of talented individuals and our plans for next year make me do a little happy dance.  So many friends got married this year and welcomed new babies into the world and even more are prepping for the same this coming year!  You are the ones that helped me put everything into perspective the most, so let me close by saying thank you.

My top four life lesson learned from 2013: 

1.  Surrounding yourself with the wrong sorts of people is more harmful than knowing good people is helpful. The negativity, drama, and tumult they bring to your life wastes time and distracts you from focusing on yourself and the things and people that actually matter. 

2.  Not all friends are created equal, and not all of them stand the test of time.  And that is ok.  As I get older, my perspective on life changes, the things I value and appreciate morph.  And, I'm not the only one!  This happens to everyone.  And sometimes where I change, so does a friend, but in a different direction.  You don't need to chase everyone down their own path. 

3.  Don't compare your life with the lives of your friends as depicted on social media.  Some of the saddest people I know in real life look to have the most exciting lives on Facebook and Instagram.  Filters and selective sharing will do that - it's called building a personal brand, people.  Enjoy your life for everything it is that can't be captured in 140 characters.  (But, still be happy for all of your friends' successes)

4.  Don't be fearful of threats.  Those who threaten you are the ones who stand to lose the most.  Stick to your principles and trust your gut.

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!  Thank you for being a wonderful part of my life!

-Sarah