Pretty In Politics: A Blog About Our Special Interests

I spent the weekend searching the interwebs for any sign of a local DC blogger that wrote with a yopro female audience in mind... I found none. I did find plenty of juicy sites left abandon in the graveyards of the Blogosphere - what a shame! I guess it's to be expected, the savvy single girl in this city is bound to get snatched up sooner or later. Since there seems to be a void I will do my best to continue the dialog into 2012.

With my roommates and gal pals as wing-women the material I can turn out in a week should be enough to write a short novel. I'm not kidding myself, none of this is possible without their inspiration... and of course the occasional gaffes that fall into my lap from a handful of Washington's best and brightest.

The week ahead should yield plenty of witty bar banter, men trouble and campaign rhetoric. See you on the other side of the New Hampshire primary!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              

Dating Purgatory

I know many friends who would consider themselves in "dating purgatory": A place or state of suffering inhibited by the souls of women who are expiating their past relationship failures by overcompensating in their current role as lady friend in the hopes of going on to a recognizable and more socially accepted relationship. For some this could be as simple as an agreement to become girlfriend-boyfriend, being 'Facebook Official', or for the long term-ers a ring (preferably on her left hand's ring finger).

If you are in dating purgatory no doubt you've asked yourself all of these questions: Are we friends with benefits? Is he seeing anyone else? Does he really like me? How do I introduce him in social situations? Is he purposefully avoiding DTR? Am I avoiding it? Is this a game? How do I bring it up to him? Should I bring it up to him? Am I over thinking this? ...Yes.

Are you single and anxious? Trying desperately to find a man or define a relationship you are already in? One piece of advice: Don't be stupid. I know I'm not surrounded by stupid girls, but the consensus out there leads me to believe otherwise. There happens to be a science behind this and it's super easy, allow me to elaborate: If a man wants you in his life he'll do everything possible to get / keep you there. Don't play games, just be genuine. If someone is really into you they'll tend to mirror your demeanor. So before you go analyzing their every move, you should be aware of the signals you are emitting first. If there is no connection, he will bail. If you scare him, he will run away from you. If you come on too strong, he'll assume you are desperate and will use that to his advantage. Never throw yourself on anyone! If you don't respect yourself he never will. Most importantly don't force a relationship because you think it's convenient, or because you'd rather be dating someone than be single.

Not too long ago I spoke with an older woman in her 80's. She was curious about my job, boyfriend, future - all that jazz. She gave me the best advice about relationships I had ever heard. She asked me if I was going to settle down and get married since I had graduated from college and been together with the same guy for years. I laughed it off and said something to the affect of wanting to wait a couple more years before I go down that road. She delivered the most perfect comeback that I will never forget until the day I die, "You need to shit or get off the pot". She knocked the wind out of me and all I could muster up in a blushed tone was, "What"? "You need to shit or get off the pot. What are you waiting for"? Out of this entire exchange I still can't remember what I said, but I do know what I took away from that conversation: You can't be afraid to cut your losses and you can't be afraid to dive in head first. I will not live my life sitting on the crapper.

Point being: If you like someone tell them, if it blows up in your face then it wasn't meant to be. There are 7 billion people on this planet - to think you're destine to be alone is by far the silliest thought imaginable. Too often do I hear fantastic women cutting themselves down, it perplexes me! I don't care how hot, smart, successful, or rich some guy is because you have just as much to offer in a partnership. If you lose that balance, if you put him or yourself on a higher platform your relationship is destine to fail.

So now ask yourself: Is this guy a good fit for me? Does he respect me? Do I respect him? Is it always fun when we're together? If the answer is yes, then just be honest in moving forward. If you answer no to any of the questions above (or if you're unsure) I'd advice you to get off the pot. Time is something you can't get back.

Happy hunting ladies!

Good Food and Good Sex

It would seem that it's near impossible to find common ground between married life and single life. As a single life aficionado that aspires one day to settle down I feel like it's my duty to bridge the gap between these two feuding factions the modern woman grapples with. Does it not seem like you have to pick sides? 


If you're single you mock your married counterparts as quitters. Likewise, if you're married you shake your head in a disapproving manor as if the debauchery of promiscuity overwhelms your senses. Pretty sure these extremes are both ridiculous and stupid so let's not let our womanly hormones and high tempers run the show.


For the record this posting was completely inspired by this lady's article in the National Review: Suzanne Venkor "Why Marriage Eludes the Modern Woman". I admit I enjoyed the article until about 3 paragraphs in when I felt the sharp dagger of judgement slash through me:

Simply put, married life presupposes a maturity modern women don’t have.

Hold the presses! My first thought was to yell out, "Whatevs I could totes could be married right now if I wanted to"! But you know what, I'm not for a multitude of reasons and none of which have anything to do with anyone other than me so Ms. Venkor has a point - but her conclusion is a half truth. Simply put - I'm astutely aware of the maturity involved in deciding to spend the rest of your life with one person. I also know myself well enough to conclude I'm not ready for that kind of commitment. I don't think that warrants a label quite so harsh. Ah but she goes on to say:

We’ve been hearing a lot lately about young men who fail to grow up and become 

good family men, but video games are not the culprit — women are. Men tend to 

follow women’s lead — and it is women, not men, who fight Mother Nature.

Classic - now I'm a disgrace to the natural order of things. It get's better:

Indeed, feminists assure women they can’t possibly be happily married until men 

change who they are or adapt their nature to accommodate the needs of women.

The needs of women? How exactly would you describe the difference between what's in a man's nature that I would change to be happily married?

“There are two ingredients to a healthy marriage: good food and good sex.”

She makes a point, I despise both.

Naturally, this philosophy will raise the ire of the most strident modern 

woman who’s been taught to believe that cooking for a husband or 

saying yes to sex amounts to indentured servitude.

I'll let Britney take this one.

They refuse to even accept that men have a greater sex drive than 

women. In failing to understand the differences between men and 

women,women have sabotaged their own happiness. 

I feel like that's a battle all couples should take out in the bedroom - guarantee there's a happy ending.  

As for the men, they aren’t so much choosing to be 

immature as they are doing what they’re told. Tell a 

man he’s dispensable, and he’ll quickly prove you right.

So let me get this straight - while the modern woman is immature and fighting natural inclinations at her own choosing her male counterparts are just helpless by design and along for the ride? I smell a fish. 

Personally, this article gives the impression that men are all stupid and modern woman are all power hungry bitches. I have a bit more faith in the dating pool than that. And since when did modern become a substitute for single like it's an alternative lifestyle? "Are you married?" "No, I'm mod." 

Marriage is a serious decision that should be respected and honored. It's a full time job. However, it's appalling that by making the choice to wait you get branded as unnatural and immature as opposed to - oh I don't know - responsible or reasonable? Not all feminists are out to "sabotage" the institution of marriage. Maybe some of us want to go into a life long union debt free, educated, experienced, financially stable, and yes mature. It's kind of hard to work on being a better you if your responsibilities now include an extra head. And let's not forget you can't use a cookie cutter formula to diagnosis a segment of the population you see as "different" de facto "unnatural". That my friends is a road to no where. 

So let's move forward with mutual respect and admiration for one another's gift of choice in the matter. Freedom is a beautiful thing! And I think it's safe to assume that it's okay to pursue a healthy mod lifestyle especially since the last time I checked you do not need a government issued license to enjoy good food or good sex. Meh technicalities. You can't fight Mother Nature. 

Total Irrelevancy & Snark

What's one thing we are always obsessing about? What's next? Always planning our next move, our next decision - planning for our future. It's so predictably female. I don't know about you, but my boyfriend can attest to many a drawn out fight about arbitrary points in our future that I insist we work out (now of course). I admit this can get ridiculous at points, but there certainly exists an element of truth behind the simple desire to find a solution. Because in searching for a solution I'm acknowledging that there is a problem. Captain Obvious strikes again. Seriously though, how many people do you know that won't even admit when they are on a sinking ship? I may be stubborn, but at least I'm not delusional.

I'm not trying to find the problem. I know why I act the way I do. I'm on a journey to the top. I feel claustrophobic if I'm stationed in any one place for an extended period of time. I can't stand it when people try to control me. In short, I'm predisposed to commitment problems. I may have flaws, but this isn't one of them. What I'm really getting at is the idea behind the responsibility of the individual. We all owe it to ourselves to be the best we can be. The way I see it: if I'm constantly striving for personal betterment, not only am I benefiting from my hard work - so is everyone else. Whether they can be happy enough to admit it or not.

The hardest, hardest (can't stress this enough), HARDEST part of this process is no doubt dealing with the "casualties" along the way. I'm be cheeky of course - there are no actual causalities and no one dies from the grief of not getting their way over your own. I could never quite figure out why people got so mad at me for simple decisions I've made in the past: the university I chose to attend, my choice in men, where I chose to work, my filming expedition, my political orientation, my upbringing, my disregard for unsolicited advice - Sorry, I'm not sorry. For fun-sies let's just be real and call these people "haters". The first and only step on your way to success is to ignore the haters. There is one exception to this rule: if you get an opportunity to piss off said hater - do it. 'Tis hilarious. Fuck them.

 As if life isn't challenging enough, now we have to pretend to tolerate passive aggressive bitchiness? Not this girl!

Personally, I find myself obsessing over my career, networking, grad school, and (shocker) my guy. I can't even say for certain where I'll be living or what I'll be doing this time next year. It's really exciting!.... for me. I can't speak for anyone else. It certainly creates a lot of stress for all my long distance relationships. I get it, change is scary. You don't want to "lose" someone close to you, but my goodness we live in the age of globalization! Let go. The farthest they'll be from you at any one point is the distance you are from your laptop or smart phone.

My guy lives 2 time zones away from me. Is it hard? Chea! He's en route to Colorado right now with a good friend from South Carolina to set up shop and live the life he's always dreamed of on the slopes, filming. Does he have everything figured out? Nope. Do I have everything figured out? Nope. Some times the best thing you can do for yourself is in making a bold decision and following through with it. No one can predict the future, but if there's one thing you can learn from Fred: you can't progress without change. No risk, no reward.

Ladies, planning will only get us so far. Bold steps are in order! Find a buddy to keep you on track - it's so easy to marginalize our favorite what's next plans. Don't ignore the simple solution to the problem. Where there's a will, there's a way!