Epic Floundering

I believe this is unclear, let me inform you dear.
So you love me, head's in the sky?
Imagine my confusion to sense your fear.
Is it real or are you just too shy?
Last time I checked I'm still standing here.
Cowering against my last bit of free will.
Cutting ties and living lies,
all for the comfort of a moment you can later despise.
Am I really all you need?
Because for an instant you hesitated.
You think I will stand by and be desecrated?
Turns out my feelings are too strong to be ignored.
Like the tired rantings of the feeble minded.
I wonder if you hear anything I say.
I'm hardly around, figured you'd pay attention today.
Are the signs really that convoluted?
Even if they were diluted they'd stay polluted.
I'm grasping on so tight, while everything slips away.
You can take my heart but never my tongue.
Everything is wrong. Everything is right?
Will the turmoil put me to sleep tonight?
So look at me, still waiting around.
While this fortress I've built is falling down.
Look at me so patient, so preen.
The ambivalence makes me want to scream.
I don't want to hear you love me.
Not your silent darling,
Still waiting for a symptom.
I heard you clearly.
It permeates in my mind.
It's a cruel joke to think you can change time.
Where is this going?
Thought I knew once but I don't anymore.
I hope you find what you're looking for.