Prove Them Wrong

Everyone loves a come back story.

Your closest allies cheering you on, colleagues and acquaintances nodding in approving eye squints, and your foes are silenced. They can't even look you in the eye. You've won.

Maybe they'll write a blurb about your success on an insider's tip sheet. Congratulations and welcome friend to the inside. Oh man, this is it. This is it! This is it?

Maybe you'll crash and burn. Maybe that article is 3...5...11 years premature.

What Now?

I read an article recently on why Millennials were unhappy. Normally, I hate all articles that try to explain away the pain or generalize millions of people in one fell swoop. But, it kind of did... with this one little formula:

Happiness = Reality - Expectations

I don't have to explain this any further. You know where the flaw is in your math.

Well guess what internet? Sorry, I'm not sorry. There's a big difference in thinking life will be handed to you on a silver platter and that having a strong work ethic will work out in your favor over the longterm.

There's really two different types of disappointment: The delusional kind and the jaded kind.

Delusional: I'm just gonna sit back and wait for everyone to find out how awesome I am. Make tons of money and clock out at 5pm.
Jaded: Watching the office slacker get promoted over you because he metaphorically-metaphysically-maybe actual does do the nasty with the boss. FML.

#TeamJaded all day long. It comes in waves, so solidarity friends. I got choo boo.

I like jaded reality, actually. It's cathartic to know the truth about how the world works–even when you have to find it out in painstakingly drawn out experiences. One at a time. Politics man.

The skeptic in me wants you all to know that you should still stay cautiously skeptical, but to never lower your expectations. Ever.

Life has a way of rewarding the hard workers, the go-getters, the jaded that never let the situation define them, the overcomers, the people that never take no for an answer, the ones that fail and try again, and the ones who keep their eye on the prize.

So go on. The road will be long. Don't let short term distractions derail you. That's how you win. That's how you prove them wrong. That's how you exceed your own crazy expectations.


via GIPHY

Total Irrelevancy & Snark

What's one thing we are always obsessing about? What's next? Always planning our next move, our next decision - planning for our future. It's so predictably female. I don't know about you, but my boyfriend can attest to many a drawn out fight about arbitrary points in our future that I insist we work out (now of course). I admit this can get ridiculous at points, but there certainly exists an element of truth behind the simple desire to find a solution. Because in searching for a solution I'm acknowledging that there is a problem. Captain Obvious strikes again. Seriously though, how many people do you know that won't even admit when they are on a sinking ship? I may be stubborn, but at least I'm not delusional.

I'm not trying to find the problem. I know why I act the way I do. I'm on a journey to the top. I feel claustrophobic if I'm stationed in any one place for an extended period of time. I can't stand it when people try to control me. In short, I'm predisposed to commitment problems. I may have flaws, but this isn't one of them. What I'm really getting at is the idea behind the responsibility of the individual. We all owe it to ourselves to be the best we can be. The way I see it: if I'm constantly striving for personal betterment, not only am I benefiting from my hard work - so is everyone else. Whether they can be happy enough to admit it or not.

The hardest, hardest (can't stress this enough), HARDEST part of this process is no doubt dealing with the "casualties" along the way. I'm be cheeky of course - there are no actual causalities and no one dies from the grief of not getting their way over your own. I could never quite figure out why people got so mad at me for simple decisions I've made in the past: the university I chose to attend, my choice in men, where I chose to work, my filming expedition, my political orientation, my upbringing, my disregard for unsolicited advice - Sorry, I'm not sorry. For fun-sies let's just be real and call these people "haters". The first and only step on your way to success is to ignore the haters. There is one exception to this rule: if you get an opportunity to piss off said hater - do it. 'Tis hilarious. Fuck them.

 As if life isn't challenging enough, now we have to pretend to tolerate passive aggressive bitchiness? Not this girl!

Personally, I find myself obsessing over my career, networking, grad school, and (shocker) my guy. I can't even say for certain where I'll be living or what I'll be doing this time next year. It's really exciting!.... for me. I can't speak for anyone else. It certainly creates a lot of stress for all my long distance relationships. I get it, change is scary. You don't want to "lose" someone close to you, but my goodness we live in the age of globalization! Let go. The farthest they'll be from you at any one point is the distance you are from your laptop or smart phone.

My guy lives 2 time zones away from me. Is it hard? Chea! He's en route to Colorado right now with a good friend from South Carolina to set up shop and live the life he's always dreamed of on the slopes, filming. Does he have everything figured out? Nope. Do I have everything figured out? Nope. Some times the best thing you can do for yourself is in making a bold decision and following through with it. No one can predict the future, but if there's one thing you can learn from Fred: you can't progress without change. No risk, no reward.

Ladies, planning will only get us so far. Bold steps are in order! Find a buddy to keep you on track - it's so easy to marginalize our favorite what's next plans. Don't ignore the simple solution to the problem. Where there's a will, there's a way!