One Writer's Quarrel

You are what you eat.
You are what you speak.
You are who you surround yourself with.
You can be whatever you set your mind to (that is socially and regionally acceptable).
You are mediocre/above average.
You are special to a few people in this world.
You are funny (sometimes).
You are loved.
You are hated.
You are only as good as what you accomplish.
You will never amount to anything.
You will change the world.
You are an element of a society that will always view you as a cog.
You are unique.
You are the same as everyone else.
You are gullible.

What do you believe? How can you possibly think you are cosmically important when you are just a speck living in the middle of infinity? It doesn't hurt to be a little prideful and ignorant does it? I have found that in the long run good qualities can back fire and "bad" personality traits can led to a truly happy and prosperous life. There is an exception to the rule every time I try to flip flop opposite behaviors deemed morally or ethically good & bad. My mind is pounding right now. We've been around a couple thousand years or so. Over the course of documented history so much information has been presented that it's nearly impossible to process it all. I don't think anyone can truly have their mind made up ever. How can you break away from the myths, cut the BS and find a way to better understand yourself?

So be it that I've come to terms with the fact that I will never really understand why things are they way they are, but why can't I understand why I am the way I am? Note to self: Take things one step at a time. Don't jump the gun and get so lost in a mysterious world while living in a mysterious mind.

Overcoming Mundane Anxiety

Now more than ever I feel that coming of age is so much more than merely growing older. Coming of age is not measured by any particular amount of breaths we take; it is measured perhaps by the amount of life's glories and short comings we experience. It's absolutely confounding that you can know someone your entire life yet never fully grasp the person they are. Friendships can be broken in a matter of seconds and stay that way for unbearable amounts of time because of petty arguments and meaningless emotions that can simply be reduced to a completely unfortunate series of events that reflect only our complete abandonment of logic and reason. Years of friendship and love are simply made void because of carelessness. Even worse, relationships can die before either party realizes it. Secret lies just buried under false pretenses and layered by years of negligence that get caught up in a repetitious cycle that cannot be broken- just because. It's just there. You don't speak of it for it's of a taboo nature and we cannot create controversy, God forbid. I've often wondered why we, people in general, are afraid of being alone. I know I can't be the only one. You can be in the most wonderful affair with every desire you could have ever asked for and yet in the stillness of the night fear losing it all. Why? Do the relationships we encounter define who we are? And why is the doubt even there in the first place? Are we such restless souls that we stoop to torture ourselves over trivial things that have yet to go wrong? All I can do is hope for the best and stay true to myself no matter what hardships I find myself facing in the future.
I've been brainwashed into believing that in group settings you are only as good as your weakest link, now I can't help but wonder if the same can be applied to individuals. If so, as soon as you go down that road of thought when you seek out your weakest quality it pretty much always ends badly. Once you've targeted the weakest quality or more realistically your weakest qualities you have to figure out how to fix them. And all that accomplishes is an endless cycle of new year’s resolutions that slowly begin improving, sort of, and shelves full of half read self improvement books you keeping putting off because you tell yourself you have no time, when in truth it’s because you know they don't fix the problem. I think it’s a lot easier than we make it out to be. There is only a certain amount of knowledge we can learn through reading about life, issues, and theories. You have to experience the failures, heart breaks, and losses in life to appreciate all the good stuff you find yourself blessed with throughout a lifetime. Life has an ironic way of letting you know you're still living- if that makes any sense. I guess the only way to go about it is to dive head first into the unknown and pray for mercy. All you can do if you fail is count your losses and start again.

Original Post : Saturday, August 18, 2007 at 12:46am