Do I Have An Expiration Date?

It's easy to become consumed with your work in this town; After all, it is the cultural norm. Inevitably though, once we finally slow down and have time to think about ourselves we have a slight inclination to panic about the status of our personal lives. I don't care if you are legitimately single or in a four year long committed relationship, we can't help but panic. It's a biological question of the utmost urgency, "Will I find someone to grow old with or am I going to be alone?" We take a gamble with every relationship we enter into, with every day we stay single, and with every person we turn down at the bar.

From my experience speaking with other DC ladies we have a difficult time feeling satisfied and because of that "something better will come along" complex there is no rush to commit... in fact I've noticed it's the opposite. Woman are testing the water with many different guys and pushing anyone away who gives off a monogamous vibe. By that I mean, these poor nice guys are getting the boot for being viewed as wife hunting. Chivalry goes a long way, but I can't tell you how many times I've heard the phrase, "He's just too nice. I'm not attracted to that". It's no surprise to me that this city is filled with two different groups of women as a result: the 28 and under crowd with nothing to lose, and the 28 and over crowd looking to partner up after a decade of dating around.

There's that question of timing. How long is it acceptable to be single? Why does 28 seem to be the arbitrary deadline we give ourselves to be married or at least in a relationship with the man we hope to be our husband? Is there an expiration date on how attractive a candidate we are to men? When do we start worrying about fighting for attention with the next influx of younger, peppy women to the city?

The dynamic is really funny to me, because I've had to sit and console crying girlfriends in their early twenties and reassure them that they won't be alone forever after a fling with a douche bag blows up. All the while, they complain the instant some nice guy they've been seeing inquires about calling her his girlfriend. It's an interesting game we play and it's bound to come full circle sooner or later. We all have the hot streak 21-27, the freak out at 28, then the scramble after that. Before we know it, we'll be married in our thirties and ready to attack the 20 year old bimbo flirting with our husband (even though we did the same thing in our hay day).

Call it a right of passage, but we should do a better job at internalizing these flaws in judgement. Instead of giving that nice guy the run around and only using him for free dinners on the week between pay checks, perhaps you should be honest about your intentions. Who knows maybe you'll leave the window open for a future relationship with him when you really want it to count and he starts to look like everything you want. No one wants to be in a position when you find yourself wondering what could have been. Don't burn bridges and run around playing with men's hearts. Guy code is strong in this city and they do talk about you. Your reputation will follow you to work and down the aisle. Don't forget that. No respectable businessman or politician will associate himself with a woman with a sketchy past.

On the other hand, we are foolish to think the men of this town aren't aware of the intricacies surrounding our dating preferences. It's no wonder there are so many jerks out there, they adapted to the atmosphere we created. It's a simple story of supply and demand. Don't hate the player, hate the game.

We operate in a city where appearances are everything. Every day is an opportunity to define the future we all came here to secure. The only person that can hinder your success is you. Make no mistake there is no separation between our careers and our personal lives. Be smart. We don't have an expiration date, but we can spoil.