The New Establishment

I started out this post with an idea that I should really write a series on being young and employed in politics. I stopped shortly after because I knew I only wanted to tell a negative story about my experiences dealing with terrible clients or coworkers. See even right there I wanted to say shitty coworkers. I couldn't not say that, because I'm so totally blown away by how preposterous business is done in DC sometimes.

It comes down to backbone and integrity. Do you have it?

When I meet someone in DC that is genuine I hold onto them with both hands. They simply cannot escape me. I will make you my friend and we will never leave each other's side. I half joke, but it is really hard to find people that are genuine insofar as I have my own criteria: Will this person tell me how they really feel? Does this person have a morale compass? Does this person seek out justice? Does this person strive for greatness? Is this person unapologetic about everything mentioned above? If the answer is yes, then congratulations: you are my new best friend!

I don't mean to say that DC is full of bad people. Not at all. It's just there are very few people I've had the pleasure of meeting or working with that are both blunt and charming and actually do their own work.

I've come to realize that you can't put a price tag on work ethic. One of my favorite things about working in politics in DC is that I'm surrounded by people who have a stake in the game and a desire to see their cause advanced. The thrill isn't monetary it's historic. We all have a chance to redirect the course of history. We have the privilege to shape generations to come.

I've just seen too many good people move up only to move right back down (in my mind only). Call it drunk with power or overwhelmed with excessive budgets. It's like the culling of operatives happens at the mid to senior managerial level–that's where good workers lose their freakin' minds and take their eyes off the prize. I know it's normal to try to position yourself for success and promotion, but it's a haunting experience to watch as decisions are made that hurt the overall objectives of an organization or movement and benefit the individual(s) making the decision.

Is this why people leave politics? I've wondered more than I'd like to tally.

I feel like such a jerk for all those times when I was 20 and so skeptical of the "losers" who couldn't stand the heat of politics. I believe at one time I referred to someone who left DC by quoting Queen lyrics, "Another one bites the dust." GOOD GOD if I could go back I would punch myself in the face. You're welcome America.

Ignoring my past shortcomings and focusing on my learned life lessons, let's move forward.

Take it from me, being blunt has only ever helped me getting new jobs. Politicos love jackasses. It just so happens when I'm looking for another job I have plenty of fire power fueling my flames. Why? Because employers love hiring passionate people. In theory they want to push their brand, mission, theories and experimentation... yea, so in actuality you would be shocked to find that doesn't necessary equate to success in the workplace. Internal politics and the soft cooing of agreement breeds promotion in this town.

Let me make it abundantly clear the problem is not the people, it is the process. Haters gonna hate. And I am a total hater but I play the long game.

Frustration with the system has stuck with me for years now. I've never worked for the government, so when I say 'system' I'm talking DC's auxiliary establishment. I have been plagued with thoughts of how I could change it to build a new way of doing business, a new way of rewarding truly innovative operatives, and christening the new establishment.

Feel me? Want to collaborate? Let's talk!

Introductory Guide to The District (For Interns)

I have been a resident of the Greater Washington area for 3 years now, which began with three months as an intern. Over my time as a resident and a tourist I've learned a lot about the daily grind and taboos of the city. This post is my way of passing on the knowledge of my interactions and observations learned over the past few years that are particularly relevant to incoming interns.

For continuity's sake I will start with the basics and move onto the greater complexities of how this city judges it's inhabitants:

Metro Etiquette: Stand to the right on the escalator, walk on the left. A simple enough concept that visitors quickly catch on to (especially during rush hours). This is the most important city in the free world, people have places to go and people to see! The rush may seem absurd to the leisurely visitor, but trust me: if you make someone miss their train don't expect the welcome wagon. Side note: Take notice of a person's body language before asking a question or starting up conversation. Most people prefer to be left alone to their thoughts. You don't want to embarrass yourself by getting shot down in a metro car (then sit there in the awkward aftermath until your next stop, which is probably Metro Center or Federal Triangle).

The Wardrobe: Dress to impress. First impressions are not easily forgotten! People will try to size you up by the watch, shoes, dress, or hairstyle you are rocking. No wrinkles, pleats, or sparkles need apply. This is not NYC, you won't find the masses in Louis Vutton heels and Vera Wang dresses - but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be dressed in sweatpants. A friend of mine best put this into perspective when he said, "People trust their peers, not outsiders." If you dress like a metal head, don't expect to be invited into The Madison. Dress like an entry level employee, don't expect to roll with the executives. DC is a Lilly Pulitzer, Tori Burch, Burberry kind of town - it has a very southern feel to it, so wear that and you'll fit in just fine! Personally, I recommend a little flavor. Add your personality to your wardrobe for a little POW!

Now, if you aren't into "materialistic things" and the "status quo" you are one of two types of people:
a) A hipster - in which case you dress like you work for a Che Guevara PAC or a fair trade advocacy group and spend just as much money on looking underground as you would on clothes from J Crew or Anthro. OR you give zero fucks, and your career matches your ensemble.
b) A libertarian - in which case you learn to embrace the capitalism behind the materialism OR move back home because DC just didn't understand about how right you were about the gold standard. You showed them!

My best advice: Try to avoid the 1990s Hilary-esque pant suit look and kitten heels (h/t WSWCM)
All in all, take care of yourself. If you don't respect yourself, no one else will either.

Name dropping: This is an art form that I see butchered on a daily basis, and it just so happens to be my biggest pet peeve. Name droppers suck - that's universal. If you want to drop a name be smart about it... don't come out and say it, make the people work for it. If they don't give a shit enough to ask you for more information, guess what: they don't care. Wait for another time. Rarely is anyone impressed that you were in a hearing and a Senator asked you for a tissue or you sat beside the hot new political writer in CPAC's blogger box. Name dropping is all about the art of subtlety, so for goodness sakes be subtle if you insist on name dropping in the first place!

The Happy hour buzz: It's called a happy hour, not a power hour. While the idea of free alcohol may send you running back to the bar due to the adrenaline rush, resist the urge to load up like there's a run on booze. HH's are a great resource to find and make friends in the city, but if you treat them like your personal liquor distributor it won't be long before you make a fool of yourself. I do my best to abide by the 2 drink maximum rule. You never want to be sloppy. Even if you have to nurse the same drink for an hour - you are much better off doing that than matching your companions drink-for-drink. After all, the name of the game is to come out on top: You want to walk away having more information than when you got there. Be tight lipped and just listen to what everyone else happens to spill. Before you open your mouth always ask yourself, "What do I gain from telling him/her this?" if there is nothing to gain, don't say it.

Gossip: Beware of your company. It's a small town, chances are if you're talking about someone it will get back to them. Be very careful of talking about someone in the midst of a stranger/acquaintance because chances are they know of or are friends with that person. I've been bitten in the ass with this one before - loyalty is hard to come by and takes a lot of time to cultivate. Just because they haven't met said person doesn't mean they won't in the future. Everyone talks, and I mean everyone. I'm guilty of doing this myself. If someone is stupid enough to run their mouth in front of mixed company to show off you better believe, if given the chance, those people will use it their advantage. Practice safe situational awareness.

Celebrities: Be cool, don't swoon. For political nerds, like me, running into Hilary Clinton or John Boehner probably feels like the equivalent of what a normal person my experience when encountering George Clooney or Brad Pitt. The difference between Hollywood and The District, however, is that you are an actor on the same stage. Act like an extra and that's where you will stay. Be confident and always have a backup plan as far as conversation goes as to avoid awkward small talk and lengthy pauses in conversation. Most importantly, just be a reasuring presence. People pick up on the vibes you give off.

Work Ethic: Most importantly, work hard every day. No one task is beneath you. Everyone has to sharpen their teeth by first answering phone calls, alphabetizing files and delivering coffee - Including your boss. If you can't manage to smile through the easy stuff, why would anyone trust you with an actual job.

MORE importantly, enjoy the city! Get out and have fun. Take advantage of all the free lunches, seminars, dinners, galas, happy hours... etc. Make it a priority to meet new people every day and just generally be open to new experiences. You never know who you'll run into and how he/she will change your life. All of the best opportunities I've had in this city came from a last minute decision to attend an event or party. DC is a social city - see or be seen! If you came here to make waves then you better not think you can do that from the comfort of your desk at work and home alone.


Photo h/t freefashioninternships.com

Dating Purgatory

I know many friends who would consider themselves in "dating purgatory": A place or state of suffering inhibited by the souls of women who are expiating their past relationship failures by overcompensating in their current role as lady friend in the hopes of going on to a recognizable and more socially accepted relationship. For some this could be as simple as an agreement to become girlfriend-boyfriend, being 'Facebook Official', or for the long term-ers a ring (preferably on her left hand's ring finger).

If you are in dating purgatory no doubt you've asked yourself all of these questions: Are we friends with benefits? Is he seeing anyone else? Does he really like me? How do I introduce him in social situations? Is he purposefully avoiding DTR? Am I avoiding it? Is this a game? How do I bring it up to him? Should I bring it up to him? Am I over thinking this? ...Yes.

Are you single and anxious? Trying desperately to find a man or define a relationship you are already in? One piece of advice: Don't be stupid. I know I'm not surrounded by stupid girls, but the consensus out there leads me to believe otherwise. There happens to be a science behind this and it's super easy, allow me to elaborate: If a man wants you in his life he'll do everything possible to get / keep you there. Don't play games, just be genuine. If someone is really into you they'll tend to mirror your demeanor. So before you go analyzing their every move, you should be aware of the signals you are emitting first. If there is no connection, he will bail. If you scare him, he will run away from you. If you come on too strong, he'll assume you are desperate and will use that to his advantage. Never throw yourself on anyone! If you don't respect yourself he never will. Most importantly don't force a relationship because you think it's convenient, or because you'd rather be dating someone than be single.

Not too long ago I spoke with an older woman in her 80's. She was curious about my job, boyfriend, future - all that jazz. She gave me the best advice about relationships I had ever heard. She asked me if I was going to settle down and get married since I had graduated from college and been together with the same guy for years. I laughed it off and said something to the affect of wanting to wait a couple more years before I go down that road. She delivered the most perfect comeback that I will never forget until the day I die, "You need to shit or get off the pot". She knocked the wind out of me and all I could muster up in a blushed tone was, "What"? "You need to shit or get off the pot. What are you waiting for"? Out of this entire exchange I still can't remember what I said, but I do know what I took away from that conversation: You can't be afraid to cut your losses and you can't be afraid to dive in head first. I will not live my life sitting on the crapper.

Point being: If you like someone tell them, if it blows up in your face then it wasn't meant to be. There are 7 billion people on this planet - to think you're destine to be alone is by far the silliest thought imaginable. Too often do I hear fantastic women cutting themselves down, it perplexes me! I don't care how hot, smart, successful, or rich some guy is because you have just as much to offer in a partnership. If you lose that balance, if you put him or yourself on a higher platform your relationship is destine to fail.

So now ask yourself: Is this guy a good fit for me? Does he respect me? Do I respect him? Is it always fun when we're together? If the answer is yes, then just be honest in moving forward. If you answer no to any of the questions above (or if you're unsure) I'd advice you to get off the pot. Time is something you can't get back.

Happy hunting ladies!